It’s that time of year again where there is excitement in the air and kids are heading back to school. However, for some, there is a significant change happening and emotions are all over the place. For some people, they are officially becoming “empty nesters” for the first time and their youngest child is off to college or leaving the house.
The Clevland Clinic describes Empty nest syndrome is the complicated tangle of feelings parents experience when their children move out of the family home and begin their adult lives. It’s not a diagnosable mental health issue, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t real. All that emotional upheaval and anticipatory grief can have a big impact, from prompting a broader existential crisis to causing physical symptoms or catastrophic thinking (How To Cope With Empty Nest Syndrome, 2024).
This is a very emotional time for parents as they are excited to see their children blossom, but at the same time, it is going to be very quiet around the house and the schedules from the kids’ activities and sports are not longer on the calendar. Along with the excitement can come feelings of sadness, grief, loss and more. Even though there is no clinical diagnosis, this is a very real experience and phenomenon.
Sleep patterns can change, loss of appetite, fatigue, difficulty concentrating and more are all signs of empty nester syndrome. Even though this can be a painful transition, this is also a great opportunity for personal growth and the growth for personal relationships. Parents finally have time to themselves and to do all the things they have always talked about.
Trying new restaurants, date nights, weekend getaways, house projects and more are all ways to help fill the time voids. This is great time to pick up new hobbies and try things you never imagined that you would. Make sure you also take time to celebrate that your children feel confident enough to leave the house and be on their own.
This is also a great time to rekindle your relationship with your significant other. A 2002 study found that marital relationships frequently improved when they became empty nesters. For the past how many years the kids have been the focus, now the relationship can be the focus. Single? No worries. Maybe this is a perfect time to put yourself out there and try something new. Make sure to communicate your feelings with your partner so that they can help support your feelings. Communication is going to be key as your partner cannot read your mind. Tell them when you are sad and why. Tell them your goals and aspirations for this time period.
Since everyone’s empty nester journey looks different and that is ok, but make sure if you continue to feel down more than up or your symptoms are not improving over time that you reach out to someone for help. If you experience mood swings, isolating yourself, having panic attacks or anxiety attacks for the first time, have difficulty concentrating, cant experience happiness or find yourself sleeping more than usual, reach out to myself or another trained professional to help you through this transitional period. You are not alone.
This is a new beginning, but also a challenging one. Remember, you have been preparing for this moment the minute your child came into this world. You have laid the foundation for your children to be very successful and claim their independence. None of us like change but change and being uncomfortable is where the most growth in our lives happens. This is a very good thing and a great time in your life. Embrace and it and enjoy it. Things are about to be amazing.
If you are experiencing fear, grief, sadness, guilt, stress, loneliness, irrability, emptiness, powerlessness, rejection, apathy and hopelessness without things getting better or these symptoms are impacting your daily life, you might be dealing with something more serious and should contact a mental health professional.
References
How To Cope With Empty Nest Syndrome. (2024, August 16). Clevland Clinic. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/empty-nest-syndrome
Tracy EL, Putney JM, Papp LM. Empty Nest Status, Marital Closeness, and Perceived Health: Testing Couples’ Direct and Moderated Associations with an Actor-Partner Interdependence Model. Fam J Alex Va. 2022 Jan 1;30(1):30-35. doi: 10.1177/10664807211027287. Epub 2021 Jul 5. PMID: 35177884; PMCID: PMC8846430.
