Rejection is NOT a bad thing! Rejection is a form of protection. As high-powered individuals, we are not used to being rejected. Whether it is in the board room or in the dating world, rejection is not something that we are familiar with.
Look, no one likes rejection. But, if you look at it from the standpoint of protection, rejection is saving you from all the bullshit that you will have to deal with down the road. Mark Manson, author of Models and the Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck states that most people are afraid of rejection. Most people will not start businesses or talk to people of the other sex due to lack of confidence and the fear of rejection. In the book Models Manson goes on to discuss the more you practice rejection the more comfortable that you will become with it and eventually you will have no issues truly asking for what you want. Once you get to this point, there is nothing that will stop you. You will eventually realize it is not as bad as it seems and from time to time you will get exactly what you wanted by putting yourself out there. You will also realize that you are better at the whole confidence thing than you thought.
Whether it is asking for 10% off at Starbucks or walking across the room to talk to the hottest girl in the room, what is the worst that is going to happen? They are going to tell you no. I tell my clients all the time, “what is the worst that can happen”? They use the two-letter word. But in the end, “did you die”? NOPE! You learned from it and gained a little confidence along with the way. You want to feel the fear, get the rejection and realize how great you are and that it wasn’t as bad you as you or your anxiety made it out to be.
The thing about rejection is that it builds confidence. It shows you that things are not as bad as they seem, and that life goes on. The nice thing about confidence is that people are looking for partners with confidence. Individuals value confidence because it signifies a sense of self-worth, the ability to make decisions, express needs openly, and provide stability within a relationship, making them feel secure and respected by their partner.
We also need to look at the reason that you are getting rejected. More times than not the rejection is not personal and has nothing to do with you. Maybe your cologne reminded her of her ex. Maybe your name is the same of their mother or sister. You never know the true reason of the rejection. Timing could also play a big part in the rejection. We have all heard the saying wrong time, wrong place. This can go for rejections as well. More than likely the rejection had more to do with them than it did with you, so don’t take it personally and move on.
Rejection is also saving you from heart break or worse down the line. If the woman (or man) rejects you, then it means it was not meant to be and there is no reason to dwell on it. Move on and eventually the right person will come along and see your confidence.
Stop for a second and think back to a time when you were rejected. I am sure that rejection may have led to you meeting your current spouse. Maybe the rejection was your spouse, and it led to divorce and your life is even better than you ever imagined.
Rejection in the workplace is also a positive thing. Were you rejected for a job that you wanted only to find out the company filed for bankruptcy six months later? Maybe the hiring boss turned out to be an asshole. Maybe you landed the best position possible at your current company where you have been for over ten years. We hear the word rejection and automatically think that it is a bad thing. Rejection is not only a good thing by building confidence, but it always provides you with opportunities that you never knew existed. So, the next time you get rejected, whose loss was it really, theirs or yours?
